I created this image in 2018 about ADHD with model Anna Isabel, it was published later that year in Louden Singletree. The image shown here has been re-edited slightly.

I share and discuss tons of stuff about ADHD - I think it's really misunderstood, which has lead to stigma, and that misunderstanding is part of the reason I was only diagnosed in adulthood. Funnily enough, I began to suspect I had it while studying it getting my Masters in Counselling - it was eye opening to see a lot of myself and internal processes reflected in the pages of a textbook.

I'm an adult with a Masters, VA Diploma, Degree, a couple extended minors, and 3 classes short of an English degree - I'm heckin' smart. I found ways to work (and cope) with my ADHD, funneled a lot into creative work, and along the way just started embracing the fact that every paper I wrote was going to be done the night before. (I am still surprised I completed a thesis to be honest, but dang - that thesis was GOOD.) The thing though with ADHD is that the coping skills you developed to get you through school don't necessarily translate into your 20's, 30's, 40's post-school - the thing that works one day, might not work the next. This can be incredibly exhausting. I recently had a Dr tell me that getting my Masters with ADHD was “unlikely” - look in any ADHD support group online and you will find people with Masters, PhD’s, multiple degrees - it’s not just about education level, women with ADHD can have ADHD and do incredible things. ADHD is not a measurement of failure, ADHD means that what we seek to achieve will have additional challenges, big and small.

We build tools for the job at hand, and the biggest thing we can do when the tool isn't doing the job we want it to is to give ourselves compassion and room to figure out what shape the tool needs to be. What can we outsource? What can we work with? Do I need to talk with my Dr about medication? For me, having ADHD is a process of constant development, it's learning as much as I can about it - and in learning what I can, finding grace in the flow. Education about ADHD is close to my heart and it's something I'm really passionate about in counselling - there are many - especially women - who are never diagnosed - who struggle to be heard & understood. More than not being diagnosed - there are many who are never seen beyond the challenges that others have used to define them - and that's incredibly heartbreaking.

Lower self esteem can present with ADHD, partially because the challenges inherent in having a brain that processes & experiences the world in a different way can lead to heavier criticisms, frustrations, confusion, disappointment - and for some, those harsh words become an internal dialogue. I think reframing the concept from "normal" and "not normal" to "this brain processes this way" and "this brain processes this way" creates ways to work, grow & thrive as valuable, unique, amazing individuals. We can make room for people to work with tasks in a way that supports them, and we can make room for conversation around what support looks like to them. It's not about a "fix", it's about developing ways to work with it - and the more we access support & self-compassion, the more we build it & refine what support is needed.

ADHD is far, far, far more complex than stopping mid sentence to yell "Squirrel!" and it's a lot more than its name suggests. There are also different types, with girls being far more likely to present with Inattentive Type (hey there!). They're less likely to cause a fuss in class, they're less likely to show external hyperactivity, and they're more likely to be overlooked because they're acting "like girls should". Yikes. More research has come out in the last couple decades on girls & women with ADHD - it’s imperative to find a professional who knows about this research and is well educated in this field when seeking support.

If you want to learn more about ADHD, Additude Mag is a great resource: https://www.additudemag.com , or How to ADHD on YouTube , or this book is great (and this one looks really interesting, too).

Disclaimer: These are my personal experiences with ADHD, and based on my own research & opinions. If you think you have ADHD, contact your Dr. If you need support with managing ADHD or parenting someone with ADHD, reach out to a mental health professional. **I would highly recommend looking for a professional who specializes in ADHD - if you’re a woman, especially with ADHD in women. Be gentle with yourselves.